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DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ - COMEDIENNE
Wasserman Schultz is a Congresswoman from Florida and a breast cancer survivor. She was one of three speakers at last Saturday’s ‘Gridiron Dinner’, an annual lighted event for Washington’s political big wigs, where for one night at least, comedy reigns.
- Funny Lady
Wasserman Schultz is also a breast cancer survivor and took the opportunity to use her new breasts as a source of humor. Saying:
“As some of you know, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and went through seven surgeries including a double mastectomy. By the way, my health battle wasn’t all bad. I got these” looking down at her breasts. “I like to call them my “silver linings”. Some people who know my story ask: “Debbie, are they fake?” I say, “Hell, yes, they’re fake. The real ones tried to kill me!” Although the fake ones feel very real- at least that’s what the TSA agents tell me.”
I wonder if her humor will mollify fellow Representative Allen West. West was angry at Wasserman Schultz for a perceived slight directed at him, a year ago, in his absence, on the floor of the house.
So angry that he fired off an e-mail to her (copies to the House leadership) under the subject title: “Unprofessional and Inappropriate Sophomoric Behavior from Wasserman-Schultz”. It said in part: “You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up”.
West apparently has a low standard for what constitutes professional and appropriate language.
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ROMNEY PICKS SANTORUM’S NEXT JOB FOR HIM
Jay Leno asked Mitt Romney to play word association with several political figures. For example he called Chris Christie “indomitable”, Paul Ryan “creative”, and Marco Rubio “the American dream”. When asked about Rick Santorum, Romney fired back “press secretary”.
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THE END OF THE WORLD
- Le Pic de Bugarach – alien parking gargae
To some, who use the Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar to predict the end of the world, the date of the apocalypse is December 21st this year. If they are right the vast majority of us will shuffle off to the apocalypse. But for some there is an out.
In the Pyrenees there is a picturesque town, Bugarach, at the foot of a mountain, Pic de Bugarach, that has an interesting pedigree. Known as the “upside down mountain” because of its odd geology, it is said to have inspired Jules Verne’s ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ and Stephen Spielberg’s ’Close Encounter of the Third Kind’.
But now some claim that on December 21st, while most of mankind meets its demise, an alien space ship will emerge from the mountain and take a few lucky souls away. Not wanting to miss out on the good seats some intrepid travelers have already taken up residence in Bugarach.
*****
HOLIDAY ON ICE
Rep. Lamar Smith, R-Texas, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, held hearings he called ‘Holiday on ICE’ to criticize the Administration’s new more humane policies on the detention of illegal aliens. Smith is no doubt congratulating himself on his clever double meaning – mashing together the popular skating show and the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). But his verbal games just make him look heartless.
The new policies came about in reaction to the sexual abuse and poor healthcare suffered by detained immigrants (who had yet to be found guilty of a crime). But Smith says: “Under this administration, detention looks more like recess, while funds for American students’ physical education classes are being cut, the new detention standards expand recreation for illegal immigrants.”
I very much doubt that the detainees think they are enjoying recess and if Smith is genuinely concerned about American students’ physical education he should review his party’s tax cutting policies.
*****
CANDIDATES REALLY NEED TO BE VETTED
- Simon Parkes – takes after his father.
Whether you are a fan of “Game Change” or not, and regardless of whether you admire Sarah Palin or not, you have to admit that the McCain campaign likely did not do a very thorough job of vetting her. But another candidate, Simon Parkes of Whitby, UK, really should have undergone a closer scrutiny. Parkes has claimed that his mother is really a nine-foot, eight-fingered green alien.
But his parentage didn’t preclude his election to office and he has his priorities straight. He insists that the residents of Whitby shouldn’t worry as his countless encounters with aliens will not distract him from his primary mission to serve the town.
I wonder what his opinions on climate change and evolution are?
NOTE: Wouldn’t it be fun if Parkes got married to the erstwhile senatorial candidate from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell. At cocktail parties he could introduce his mother the alien and his wife the witch.
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