When you look at the evangelical’s God, you have to ask: Is that the best we can do? With all the invention, discovery and intellectual advances since the birth of Christ, you would have thought they could have come up with a better model.

The God of the evangelicals is no more than an old brick cell phone. A dumb brute with little imagination, less finesse and an opaque and capricious method of dealing with his creation. He can’t speak plainly. It’s always a bush, or angels, or weather events. Why not start a Facebook page?

His instruction manual was written by non-English speakers — literally. And yet today’s American evangelical speaks with great authority on the Good Book’s meaning. These are people who I suspect have trouble putting Ikea furniture together, yet they know the meaning of every jot and tittle in the Bible? It strains credulity.

And what does the book cover? For starters, the planets are ignored. Stars — mere decoration. Bacteria? Not a mention. China, Ireland — the Americas, for that matter — completely absent. Suspiciously — and when evangelicals are around, keep your hand on your wallet — the Bible mentions nothing that would have been unknown to the scribes who wrote it.

In fact, when it comes to knowledge, the Bible is a disappointing also-ran to the first edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

The Christian God is an underachiever. He shows less initiative than Coca-Cola. It took that sweet syrup less than a century to crop up everywhere from Galena to the Gobi. And yet after 6,000 years (and that’s the low estimate) God is still absent to the majority of the planet.

He did have a good start. And the middle innings went gangbusters — although you do have to give the son a lot of credit. The Romans bought Him. Europeans sliced off a large piece of the pie. Americans said we’ll have some. And Africans went along.

But then He hit a wall. The Near East said no thanks and went with their boy. The Far East showed polite interest but mainly stuck with theirs.

And now Europeans and increasingly Americans have had a relook at the merchandise and are moving in a different direction.

And that’s the problem when you don’t pay attention to your brand management. One minute you’re the Model T and everyone wants you – and the next you’re an Edsel.

The God of the evangelicals lacks everything the modern consumer is looking for. Compassion, empathy, tolerance, respect for women — here you can add what’s important to you.

In a desperate attempt to stay relevant, evangelicals — and the Vatican — promote the retro nature of their God. And let me say here that there’s nothing wrong with nostalgia — but you can’t live in the past. By all means, take some styling cues from the old models, but you have to incorporate the new.

And even in their love of tradition, the evangelicals promote all the wrong parts. The core of the Christian identity is a caring Jesus. The ex-working stiff who has the back of the poor and the needy. The guy who looked with a jaundiced eye at the powers-that-be – who had good things to say about foreigners and prisoners – and had not a racist bone in his body.

That’s something you could build on. But evangelicals went in a different direction. Now sales are slipping. And these religious folk have turned to government to boost their product. But command economies rarely prosper and never in the long run. Consumers know what they want, and they buy it. And they aren’t buying the evangelical’s God.



Ignorance: A Value Held Dear by many Americans.

April 8, 2017

I used to frequent a deli located near a roadside, commuter bus stop. Once, while idly waiting for my order, I thumbed an accordion bus schedule taken from a holder by the register. The cashier looked over at me and said she hoped I wouldn’t ask her when the next bus was, as she had […]

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Really? – 2.4.17.

February 4, 2017

Trump says that Dodd-Frank has to be repealed because his friends can’t get loans. Two thoughts: One, there’s plenty of cash available for well-rated businesses. Two, Trump doesn’t have any friends. Fox’s Jesse Watters says,“It’s my opinion that liberals on college campuses now resemble Islamist mobs”. Other conservatives scorn college liberals as ‘safe space’ seeking ‘snowflakes’. They should […]

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Religion Poisons Everything. Even Atheism.

December 29, 2016

The is nothing more annoying than a debate between an atheist and a true believer. I’m an atheist, and I can feel within myself the smug and poisonous intellectual superiority of being a ‘critical thinker’: a dispassionate observer of the world. Not for me the magic of superstition, the prison of rote, the mindless surrender of intellect […]

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The Bible, a Poor Use of Technology.

December 15, 2016

“The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.” ― Mark Twain The base nature of the human race is revealed by how it uses its technology. It is a well-acknowledged truth that every technological advance is judged in part by its […]

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Is Religion a Force for Evil?

December 11, 2016

Bible thumpers claim that without God there is no morality. Atheists argue that religion is a perversion that inspires its adherents to evil deeds. Is either side right? No. There are good people, and there are bad people. Some of whom are religious and some of whom are not. The only difference is that bad religious folk add […]

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Creation Science Is an Oxymoron

December 7, 2016

“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard Feynman Biblical creationists believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God. And as such proves that God created man and all flora and fauna in their current form. What an exercise in magical thinking. However, it is not my […]

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Really? 11.29.16 – Fundamentalism Is a Cancer in America.

November 29, 2016

A good Christian. This election has shown so many self-declared Christians to be completely devoid of any Christian spirit. Luckily, there are still Christians in America who act according to Jesus’ precepts. Take Colby Martin. He was a young star of the conservative evangelical church. And like many, he studied the Bible. However, he came to realize that […]

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Evangelicals Elect an Unholy Man.

November 11, 2016

When I was a boy, I went to schools that were unmistakably Christian. As it was in England, where parents think their children are vaguely criminal and too rambunctious to have underfoot, I was sent away to a low-security detention facility at the age of eight. A place called, in British private educational parlance, a ‘boarding school’. The authorities […]

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