Lindsey Graham served the military honorably on both active duty and the reserve for 33 years. He was a lawyer and as such never deployed to a war zone. But he has not allowed his failure to see combat divert him from his mission of giving America’s youth every opportunity to die in a pointless war.

His latest target is Venezuela. He thinks Trump should invade the disintegrating nation if the Venezuelan military doesn’t kick incumbent Nicolás Maduro out and install National Assembly leader Juan Guaidó as the President. He offered this on Fox News:

“Trump said rightly, Maduro’s not the legitimate leader of Venezuela. The entire region supports the Trump approach, that Guaidó is the legitimate leader.”

Holding back this regime-change in Graham’s mind is Cuba’s pernicious influence. But this armchair warrior has a plan – although it isn’t his plan:

“We’re not occupying Venezuela, but if Maduro refuses to go and the Cubans keep using their military apparatus to prop him up, it is in our national security interest to do in Venezuela what Reagan did in Grenada.”

Let’s give that a quick analysis. Grenada is a country of some 135 sq. miles with a population of 107,000. Venezuela is 354,000 sq. miles with a population of 31 million. It’s the difference between occupying the city of Orlando versus the states of Texas and Oklahoma combined. For the chicken hawks, war is always easy. Give the locals some ‘shock and awe’ and it will all be over by Christmas.

But it never is.

Graham had some more strutting to do. If wars were won by bluster the US would be undefeated. But we never seem to learn that missiles and tanks can’t beat a determined guerilla force. Eighteen years on, we are still hunkered in our Kabul bunker in Afghanistan, while swathes of the country are no-go zones for the US military. But Lindsey is indifferent.  

“I would do exactly what Reagan did. I would give Cuba the ultimatum to get out of Venezuela. If they don’t, I would let the Venezuelan military know, you’ve got to choose between democracy and Maduro. And if you choose Maduro and Cuba, we’re coming after you. This is in our backyard.”

Geographical proximity is no reason for war. Venezuela is not a threat to us. Cuba is not a threat to us. The country is unsustainable. If Cuba does have 20,000 troops there – which is highly unlikely – they are just a drain on either Cuba or Venezuela’s scarce resources.

The country is rotten and toppling over in its own decay. It will not last long.

The fall of Idi Amin provides an object lesson. In 1971, after his coup, Amin was the undisputed ruler of Uganda, by 1979 he was deposed and in exile. Is eight years a long time? Hardly. It is less than half the time we have spent in Afghanistan and two years shorter than our combat mission in Vietnam.

And the distinct advantage of the strategy is that no Americans die.

There is no reason why we can’t find some country that needs a few dollars, say Guatemala, and for a fraction of the cost of an invasion, we could bribe them to welcome Maduro with open arms and let him live out the rest of his miserable existence in exile — as Amin did in Saudi Arabia.

Maduro would leap at the opportunity. He knows his ousting is a foregone conclusion. It’s his choice whether to enjoy a long retirement or a short one. And just to reinforce his choices we could send him a brochure of sandy Guatemalan beaches — and inside tuck a video of Muammar Gaddafi meeting his end being sodomized with a bayonet.


Mattis’ Resignation Letter Tells Trump He Isn’t Keeping America Great.

December 20, 2018

Gen. James Mattis quit as Secretary of Defense. It is no surprise that a man as steeped in military tradition would resign rather than work for a man who formulates his capricious military policies on the fly – without consulting the men and women who have made the military their lifetime study.  The straw that broke the […]

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Trump’s Profound Disregard for the US Military Continues.

November 29, 2018

Trump told reporters today we shouldn’t worry about the troops spending Thanksgiving at the border because they are “tough people”. I’m sure they are. And no one signs up for the military thinking it’s going to be a 9-5 job with holidays off. Hardships are expected. But no good commander sends his troops to suffer hardships pointlessly. And what of […]

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The Symphony of the Seas, the USS Ford, and a Tale of Political Piracy.

November 29, 2018

The Symphony of the Seas is the world’s largest cruise ship. It is 1,188 ft long, 215 wide and has a gross tonnage of 228,081. It can carry almost 9,000 passengers and crew. It cost $1.35 billion. But it is not the world’s most expensive ship. The most expensive is the aircraft carrier, USS Gerald Ford. This largest-ever naval ship is 1,106 […]

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No Expense Spared to Do the Wrong Thing.

June 19, 2017

Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, took time off from his busy schedule of not remembering things about his Russian contacts to announce he was relaunching the War on Drugs. How appropriate. Who else would know better than a retrogressive Southerner about fighting a pointless war? The War on Drugs was first announced in 1970 with the […]

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Trump Strikes Syria – What’s Next?

April 7, 2017

So Trump bombed Syria. No doubt his crew will be ecstatic that the great man flexed some military muscle and sent a few well-guided missiles down the enemy’s chimney. But is there more? Or is Trump now satisfied because he has been seen to be doing something? Questions were raised – and not just by Democrats […]

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Really? – 2.17.15. – Ignorance shouldn’t be contagious; Is money drowning politics?; Heroin’s new geography; Dr. Strangelove resurfaces in Arkansas.

February 16, 2015

Ignorance is a celebration. Anti-intellectualism is a badge worn by conservatives with pride. How many politicos do we need to hear say “I’m not a scientist” without consulting a scientist, before we suspect that ignorance is their shield? Kanye West has added his voice. I do not know West’s politics, but he is a soul mate […]

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The Cassandras Are Wrong About ISIS Being On America’s Doorstep.

September 28, 2014

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” ― Kurt Vonnegut. ISIS’s stated aim is to establish a caliphate across Iraq, Syria, and Kurdistan. To subjugate the people. And to establish a culture steeped in a sadistic, absolutist form of Islam and Sharia law. Yet many […]

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Really? 9.27.14 Teaching propaganda; GOPer tells generals to quit; Sophistry on morality;

September 27, 2014

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. – Mark Twain The school board of Jefferson County, Colorado, is pissed that the schools want to teach unvarnished history. Specifically the newly elected conservatives object to AP History – with its reliance on “facts”.  Let Julie Williams  explain, “I’m not […]

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